Daily Devotions

I’ve been reading for a while a devotional for women. I must say it is a great book. On many occasions the daily reading has been very appropriate for the events or feelings I’ve experienced that day.

Yesterday was all about asking God to give me patience…..NOW!!  With all the rain that has been falling over the past few weeks, the kids have not enjoyed being cooped up in the house during the holidays. I feel for them, I know they are bored but my patience has worn pretty thin with all the squealing and fighting that has been going on.  What makes it harder is that Dylan and I are away from home and not in our usual surroundings.

I have also experienced impatience in another matter. I’ve been in communication with a guy on the internet. At the beginning as I was all caught up in the excitement of something new, I willed the relationship to be something more than it really was. I want to quote a passage from my devotional, “We humans beings are impatient by nature. We know what we want, and we know exactly when we want it: NOW! But, God knows better. He has created a world that unfolds according to His plans, not our own.” Now, with God’s help I have managed to calm down and see the relationship for what it is.  Just an opportunity to get to know someone great, who loves God and seems to have his perspectives in the right place.

Which leads me right into today’s reading of maintaining perspective. “it is important to look at things from God’s point of view.”1 Corinthians 4:6.

If we can form the habit of focusing on God’s priorities, then it opens the doors for many possibilities. When we achieve this, we soon discover that we spend less time worrying about the challenges we face and more time praising God for His gifts. This comment rings true to my heart. I spend a lot of time worrying and trying to control the things that happen in my life. I am having to learn to lay all my worries at the feet of Jesus and let Him direct my steps and calm my fears.

I’m not so worried now about finding a husband. If it is God’s will for me then I must have faith that it will happen…… In His time! If not, then I also have to trust that He has something greater in mind for me. I’ve been learning from Rick Warren, “The Purpose Driven Life” that we were created for His purpose and as soon as we discover that purpose, the sooner we start living for God and not ourselves.

When it rains it pours

Those who know me well, will know that I’ve been single for quite some time. Part of that reason is because I personally chose to be on my own, the other reasons are due to the lack of availability of single men.

To be fair & honest my being single may be a result of my being picky. I’ve only ever truly loved one man in my life. And I knew in the first 3 weeks that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. 12 years have passed, obviously that relationship didn’t work out. It took me a long time and numerous counseling sessions to not only accept this but realize that I had convinced myself all these years that I was still in love with him.

I became aware that what was really holding me back was my being in love with the idea of being in love. ( if that makes sense?) My perception of how a man should make me feel was something I had created, therefore ruining any chance of being able to experience love with someone else.

Hollywood could be somewhat to blame. I am a sucker for a good romance story. Has this left me with unrealistic expectations?

Anyway, the real point to my story is to do with 2 men. As I previously mentioned, I’ve been single for a long time now. I can’t say I’ve received a lot of male attention in the past but in recent weeks I have had not 1 but 2 men interested in me.

Two so completely different men. One man is someone who is a return from my past. I’m not really interested in him and I know that he could quite easily influence me to give in to my bad habits.

The other guy is someone who I met while on a mission trip with P3:18. To be honest I didn’t really take any notice of him while on the trip because I had my eye on someone else. I had prayed to God requesting I meet the man he had planned for me on this trip. I went on to assume maybe that wasn’t his plan.

I’m getting to an age now where I feel if I don’t break down the walls around my heart and open my eyes to see a person for who they are on the inside,then I may miss the opportunity and live the rest of my life alone.

I need to remember to put my faith in God, may he guide me and allow me to let down my walls to allow someone to love me.