Those who know me well, will know that I’ve been single for quite some time. Part of that reason is because I personally chose to be on my own, the other reasons are due to the lack of availability of single men.
To be fair & honest my being single may be a result of my being picky. I’ve only ever truly loved one man in my life. And I knew in the first 3 weeks that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. 12 years have passed, obviously that relationship didn’t work out. It took me a long time and numerous counseling sessions to not only accept this but realize that I had convinced myself all these years that I was still in love with him.
I became aware that what was really holding me back was my being in love with the idea of being in love. ( if that makes sense?) My perception of how a man should make me feel was something I had created, therefore ruining any chance of being able to experience love with someone else.
Hollywood could be somewhat to blame. I am a sucker for a good romance story. Has this left me with unrealistic expectations?
Anyway, the real point to my story is to do with 2 men. As I previously mentioned, I’ve been single for a long time now. I can’t say I’ve received a lot of male attention in the past but in recent weeks I have had not 1 but 2 men interested in me.
Two so completely different men. One man is someone who is a return from my past. I’m not really interested in him and I know that he could quite easily influence me to give in to my bad habits.
The other guy is someone who I met while on a mission trip with P3:18. To be honest I didn’t really take any notice of him while on the trip because I had my eye on someone else. I had prayed to God requesting I meet the man he had planned for me on this trip. I went on to assume maybe that wasn’t his plan.
I’m getting to an age now where I feel if I don’t break down the walls around my heart and open my eyes to see a person for who they are on the inside,then I may miss the opportunity and live the rest of my life alone.
I need to remember to put my faith in God, may he guide me and allow me to let down my walls to allow someone to love me.
Alwaysdreamin's Blog 